Why is it ok to laugh at just
about anybody else when they trip and fall except for old people? If anything it’s funnier when they fall
down. Ever watch an old person trip and fall? It happens in slow
motion. I don’t know how they do it but
it’s true. They fall in slow motion. It’s like some kind of elderly acquired super
power.
An old person will trip, realize she is about to fall,
slightly react, look around for help, wave an arm for balance, look back down
at the ground, look back up for help, wave the other arm for balance, mumble
something only other old people can translate, look back down to make sure she
is still falling, remember that she has to mail out that five dollar check to
her grandson for his birthday, wonder if she will live long enough to mail out
that five dollar check to her grandson for his birthday, have a flash back to
her wedding day, smile, come back to reality, realize she is still falling,
frown, soil herself, feel guilty about that, contemplate her obituary,
wonder why she never wrote one for herself, sneer at the guy that is walking
right past her ignoring her dilemma, wonder what happened to this generation
of kids, think about her grandson again and what kind of man he will become,
smile again, wonder if “drugs” are still a problem, look back down, realize she is still falling, wonder why it is taking so long, start to feel like impact
should have happened minutes ago, forget what she was thinking about, remembers, oh yeah,
falling, that’s right, then, finally, impact… and grandma breaks another hip.
...If you’re feeling bad for laughing, don’t. This particular grandma doesn’t exist. She died.
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