I
think it’s a shame that Michael Jackson died so young. I was really looking forward to seeing how
all that plastic surgery was going to age.
Imagine how that would have gone?
He already looked like something that a little kid would check for under
his bed. Well, truth be told I’m sure
that happened on a regular basis anyway.
I would have really liked to watch Mike’s
aging process. I wonder if he would have
gone gracefully or more of a full blown cellular collapse? Ever see those people? The kind where it looks like their face just
said, “Fuck it, I’m done?” The skin around their neck starts to look like it
could double for a nut sack and they get that dangly turkey warble, chin
clit? This is not an attractive look but
it happens all the time. There’s even
surgery to prevent it. Which brings me
back to MJ.
How does one age when 80% of your face is
made from plastic? Would it look like a
geriatric wearing a Halloween mask?
Would the center hold its integrity while the surrounding areas sagged
off like molten skin tissue? And imagine
the effect this would have on his children!
Although it couldn’t be any harder than watching daddy take off his wig
and hang his fake nose on his mannequin head every night before unshackling a
child from his rape dungeon and heading off to bed.
Did you know that’s why Mike called it
“Never Never Land?” Because you could
never talk about what happened when the lights went out. And we thought what happened in Vegas stayed
in Vegas. Yikes!
But back to aging. Mike was 50 when he died. Well, actually he was seven if you check with
his therapist but physically it happened at 50.
50! And he looked like that! He was really just starting to hit that
window of age acceleration where things could have gotten really exciting for
the rest of us. Especially with the boom
in social media. Imagine all the fun the
Internet would have had? People say guys
like John Lennon or Biggie Smalls were taken too soon but not me. I’m team MJ!
If only for the sadistic degenerative spectacle that would have ensued.
And lets not forget the toll aging takes on
the rest of your body. Mike was probably
the best dancer this world has ever seen, in or out of the courtroom, but
sooner or later Father Time comes to collect.
His dancing sure would look a whole lot different with a plastic
hip. But I guess Moon Walking in a
wheelchair is really just called rolling backwards.
I wonder if dementia would have set
in. That could have been fun. Poor old Mike sitting in his wheel chair just
blabbing about all of his adolescent sexual conquests, totally oblivious to the
fact that he’s incriminating himself while throwing in the occasional “shamon!”
or “hee-hee!” Maybe that’s life’s truth
serum; dementia. Maybe all of the whacky
shit our grandparents say that we write off as nonsense are actually just their
subconscious minds taking massive shits.
Maybe grandpa really did sleep with Audrey Hepburn. Probably not, but it’s fun to think so.
Damn it, Mike! You were taken too soon!
