1. Jesus
was in fact excellent at Peek-A-Boo.
2. The
tradition of hiding eggs was started to help farmers with Alzheimer’s feel
better about themselves.
3. If
the Easter Bunny sees his shadow we’re supposed to have another six weeks of
Lent but nobody really follows that anymore.
4. Jesus
was briefly a zombie. He was alive, then
he was dead, then he wasn’t dead anymore and then he disappeared. He was either a zombie or Eddie Wilson.
5. Candy
is a big part of Easter because God hates diabetics. True story.
6. The
very first Easter Bunny was a pedophile.
7. In
Russia if you die on Easter most funeral homes will hide the body and force the
grieving family to find it before any services will be rendered.
8. Years
ago cops thought the Easter Bunny was a drug dealer. It made sense… he wore a disguise, got kids all
“hopped up” on candy and went by a number of aliases. They totally missed the pedophile thing though…
9. The
Golden Easter Egg was originally a marketing ploy to get the Jews on
board. It didn’t work.
10.
Before He died on the cross Jesus’s last words were “COMMERCIALIZE ME!!!” Your welcome Jesus…
